YOU SHOULDN'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS, THEY ARE MORE SCREWED UP THAN YOU THINK

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

pointless

as I'm in my bestie house and her house got a super-fast internet connection so I think why not I have a short time for my blog. I don't know what to speak about actually but I just want to update it. I'm so boring since that girl already asleep. Ouh man, and I just can't.

Well I got a lot of story, I just don't know where to start. I think I should have a new blog so that I don't feel awkward to reveal my personal thingy. what should I do to this blog.

Should I delete it or shouldn't. I'm so confuse.

Why am I changing. I used to feel nothing when it came to update my blog. I just put all the things that I want. But now......

aku rasa dah malu nak share lol.

Sunday, 17 November 2013

For God sake, Haziq again?

Untiteled



Hahahah. the tittle seems like you're not get over yet Tira. It seems desperate. LOL. macam nak kena tampar seraya berkata..

"GET A LIFE BITCH!"

As I went through the internet and checking my Facebook account, I accidentally clicked my blog which is this one. Well it's been a long time since I did. It's been a long long time since my last time visited it. poor you baby. so today why not I update something on my blog. It's not much but yeah let's put something to make it alive. it still alive, but kinda sick.

I'm sick of this kind of thing. this medium of writing is used to be my main place for me to voice out all my stupidity. I share everything, anything, and everybody just came here and read it and judge me. some people seems like they love my writing, yet still some of them didn't. it's nothing much since I was a little silly girl who love to update my stupid blog. budak budak sekolah sangat.

but today, I think I have nothing to share well I have but I just don't feel like I want to. I'm tired and I don't feel like it's a must for me to update. Not like before, the time when I thought everything is crucial for me to share. The feeling is dimmer day by day. 

I think I'm growing up.

Oh one more thing, for those who still searching for a keyword that related to Haziq Bakeri I'm truly sorry for those blogposts since they were my immature thought. It was before. So now if you're really curious, we're done. I'm done. Nothing more. It's nothing between us. Actually deep inside I hate the way my friends play with the things that relate to us, yeah they used to. I miss him, but it's not like I want him back. I don't even have any feeling towards him. Not anymore. I was mad, but now I'm not. I feel better now, it was stupid when I cried over a guy. Well you know, I was younger and idiot. I think I better stop to talk about him because it's over.

Last night, I watched The Notebook and it was really heart touching. The movie is really good and I'd love to watch it back. Well at least I still know how to cry and knowing that I'm not yet a heartless person, it's more than enough! Imma happy kid.

What exactly I want to say here is do I have to dispose this blog or just ignore this thing and 10 years later open this blog and smile to myself. It's kinda memory aite. Humph!

Friday, 23 August 2013

You need to care. Could you?


pagi pagi lagi dah kena tegur dengan madam pah. macam kena cucuk cucuk jer hati. senak jiwa aku. memang dah agak kena present first group. dah agak sangat. frankly speak, memang aku sendiri pun tak puas hati dengan tahap presentation aku. minggu nie memang banyak task ngan assignment kena siapkan. aku settle kan proposal semua dulu baru start buat task madam pah. cuba bagitau aku bila masa nak baca point by point at the slide briefly? sampai pukul 2 jugak la buat slide, cari info walhal JDT. tak larat nak baca sampai lewat pagi lagi. segan dengan classmates sebab kena marah macam budak sekolah. tak pandai nak introduce groupies. aku pun rasa aku ting tong jer macam introduce main tunjuk tunjuk. serious rasa macam fool. malu tak bagi my best. serious malu. humph. i'm kind of sorry madam, it was unintended. i'll never do it again.

something has changed. teacher tira in making is not a kind of it anymore. teacher tira can't teach lil kids since teacher tira doesn't have that qualification. humph. aku kena tukar tempat LI aku sebabnya aku takde kelayakan nak mengajar. tahap diploma jer lagipun kan. so, few days before i asked my aunt was her company where she's working is available for training student. unfortunately, it wasn't. takpe la. 

so where do i have to go? i chose MPH bookstore. one of my roommates, azim called the HR and asked lotsa things..and finally i just grab that opportunity and pick that place as i had no time to think other places. mana?

MPH Mid Valley.
This is where i hope that i can be there for the first three months next year. disebabkan kat Mid Valley, so aku memutuskan untuk stay dengan emok sedaghe. naik train pegi Mid Valley. meet up dengan azim dekat KL Sentral. tak tau nak cakap apa, sebab i'm not so excited when talking about this practical thingy. aku takut aku tak boleh survive, takut tak boleh nak adapt.

resume baru jer submit tadi, dapat pengesahan semua dari sir aliff terus direct jumpa encik azhari submit resume bagai. next week bila dapat approval terus email kat MPH. hopefully that the two of us can be in a same place. tak awkward sangat nanti nak mula keja.

bila semakin membesar nie, aku rasa macam lagi payah jer nak stay alive successfully. banyak tanggungjawab nak kena hadap. study jauh lagi senang. aku dah penat bila pikir pikir.

kerja? i wish that i could turn back and return to the old days.

Wednesday, 31 July 2013

They'll never understand.


semalam. aku ada something nak meroyan semalam kat sini. tapi lepas bukak puasa, settle tanggungjawab apa semua langsung lupa apa story nya. kekenyangan maybe. bila waktu bukak puasa jer mesti ada cerita baru. disebabkan aku lupa, so aku delay la cerita tu. kot la hari nie ingat. dan before i had a deep sleep yesterday, aku pun teringat apa aku nak gebang sangat semalam.

hari ini. aku rasa cerita semalam macam lame sangat kalau aku nak sebut sebut. sebab semua tu were the cases happened during my last semester. but some people still bercakap cakap pasal tu. terasa sedikit bara bila aku dengar balik semalam. aku sabar. aku terus cuba ingat ingat ada tak ayat yang aku baca before nie yang boleh buat aku sedap sikit hati. and it is. one said that..

"People never remember the million times you've helped them, only the one time you don't."

so, i ignored it and continue playing game. i was playing game during that time. aku bukak puasa makan cekodok jer semalam, sambil tangan sibuk la pegang mouse main game semua. aku malas nak ungkit sebab that person asked me to never have a word about that thing since then. i didn't want any other problems so i put silencer on my lips. for what do you guess? aku taknak buang masa atas benda yang bangang macam tu effect study aku kat sini. but now what happen to the promise that we've made before? sape yang kepochi?

sedar diri dan muhasabah lah. aku tak pernah senang nak paham orang. semua orang ada kerenah, tapi this person is beyond the normal phase. sukar untuk ku mengerti. you used to be my inspiration. stop by there. titik.

2 messages received.

i opened them and read thoroughly. one from my ex-boyfie named syarani but dubbed as ali. while another one by unknown. raw number appeared at the screen. and it was celcom i bet since the initial number is zero one nine. Ali asked me to have my home address, why dude? nak post kad raya maybe. since home address is kinda confidential so it's a no-no respond. sorry for that. haaa that unknown one, i really don't get the idea on who the hack was that. i called, but no respond. sucha fool. tak reti nak tekan butang mana kot bila phone bunyi. let it be.

tadi. serious rasa lain macam. bersalah maybe kat aiman. budak budak retard nie kena kena kan aku ngan dia. dia nak cari sir syahid comel, dorang boleh bising bising sebut nama aku. awkward gila. dah la lama tak sembang ngan aiman. kind of complicated sikit ngan dia. then they make such noises in front of others. pity me.

aiman, sorry sebab tadi. budak budak nie memang retard. dorang tak bersalah sebab dorang bingung banyak. maafkan kami.

and dear truck voice owner, how i wish i can keep your voice in a magic bottle. so once i need it i will open up the cork and listen to yours.

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

The lost Alice.


wonderland is not a place that we can go easily. how about we just pay a visit? no way, it's totally a NO-NO situation since we ourselves can't prove it that the place is existed.

apa yang aku merepek nie. whatsoever. lets mingle around. together. lame!

hurm aku bukan Alice. dan sini bukan wonderland. aku Tira. dan sini Indera Mahkota. it's not so wonder. lalala.

i was eating my meal and it's break fasting moment when my roommate told me that those 3 divas kinda annoying ngan aku. what was my fault actually? i did nothing i guess since the day i met them. nothing. am i that annoying? my roommate said nothing, but still looking at me. takut la tu nak tambah lagi. geez!

she said that maybe those girls tak berapa selesa ngan aku punya air muka. hateful. kerek. berlagak. sombong. bajet. bagus. bla bla bla bla bla...

and i was like... what the f**k man! is it my fault that i was born with this kind of face? actually no one should be blamed on this thingy. it fated and i just love my look. so if you don't like me just don't look at me, we both will have a win-win situation. isn't it. 

this thing is not a new thing for me since whenever i go, everybody will mis-assume me. some people might say.. "Eh belagak nya budak nie. jeling jeling aku pulak. ingat lawa pandang aku macam tu."

others will say.. "Dia nie bukan boleh buat kawan. bajet. dia jer nak betul. konon bagus."

few people say.. "Dia nie cam interesting jer. nak try kenal laa. we're gonna be a good friend."

and it is RARELY words to be heard of. poor me.

so people, do know me first before you judge me. well anybody can judge me, i can't resist it. but how about you approach me first and make a brief assumption on who is the real me. boleh? :)

yes, i'm not a picture perfect. yet i'm still can cherish your day with my imperfect. you know what, i'm kinda retard and my friends really love my retardness. yes i know that we don't have that 'retardness' vocab in dictionary. well it's mine. it's my vocab. extra..you may learn lotsa new vocab when you befriend with me.

and hey you outa here. yes, you. the one who is reading this. approach me first and get to know me well, so that i can paint a happy smile on your face like every day.

in a nutshell, i love my monsterous arrogant face since no one like it. it's rare and i love to be different.

some words from me at very first day of class..

"I really don't know how to make friends. But once they befriend with me, they surely will love me."

and it's true. i never lied.

i've said it previously. trust no bitch, but trust me.

Thursday, 18 July 2013

One particular night.

teaser

A bright room. In my room. Hostel.

Silent. there is no raindrops sound and i'm sitting on my red bed holding little strawberry pillow while typing this. my roommate, ecan was about to go to the bathroom when i looked at her. she opened the door and zooooshhhhhhh! the sound was so smooth but strong.

what was that? I thought it was nadia and kayan pulling their stuff from the other block.

No babe, it's raining outside. and i moved my head to the window and my hand touched the window to open it, so that i could see it clearly. is it raining?

yes, it's raining outside. it's not just raining. we got wind that come together with the rain.

i smiled and closed the window. back to the seated-place before and continue typing. it's raining outside. Alhamdulillah.

few mins thinking on what do i have to write right here. i'm paused.

looking at the curtain hanging at the window. i intend to look outside the window and enjoy the raindrops...it was my first intention. unfortunately, the curtains hung became a barrier. i'm paused..again.

mak ayah

my head turned to the left, and my sight touched the wall. it was a calendar hung at that wall. my parent's photo was clipped at the calendar. that smile. that smile painted on mak and ayah faces make me calm. my feeling is fragile. and i'm homesick.

some sounds and light yellow light showed-up from the phone. why babe? what happened to you. nah, it was battery. my phone battery is low. no credit also. pity me.

i've erased my whatsapp account for the sake of my money. i want to be thrifty. so, it's gone..with the memories.

ouh, today ed inbox me on facebook. i'm kind of shocked. happy at the same time for sure. he still remember me. but, did he miss me? i'm curious. question with no answer. i didn't ask him about it. i let him to start the conversation and i respond. he's still at his granny place which is at Pakistan. he'll be there until Eid.

tonight is my second night at my new room. my roommates and i moved from our old room as we're not comfortable with the surrounding. it was my very first time felt insecure doing my laundry alone at toilet. i'm talking about my old room. my old room situated at another block, the block is at the back of the hostel. the most precious thing that i still feel bad to leave is its window view.

the view from the window is fascinating. we could watch sunrise moment in every morning. it was so beautiful and i impressed with the view. i have snapped some photos so that i can look at it if i miss that moment.

as i said previously that tonight is my second night here, it's happy to be here. the room is nearer to the toilet and my bestfriends also living at the next door.

but, i couldn't fell asleep last night. i feel something is not right and it was creepy when i think about it again. i scared. as i felt that way, i put myself in my black blanket. i moved my body close to the wall and hug my little strawberry pillow tightly. that's the way if i want to make myself secure with the situation, move your body close to the wall. i felt asleep then.

and it's still raining outside. i open a new tab and google up my facebook account. checking my notifications and sign out. what more to do? i have to end up this post and publish it before make a move to the toilet and prepare for sleep.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

new sems, new faces, new surrounding.



I don't have the courage to update a new blogpost, but suddenly I went to my crazeyh sista ecansenpai's blog and reading her new post about our old room. me is so sad when the post arrived at the pindah pindah part.

lotsa stories to tell and to share. just got no time, great tyra u're just know how to lie aite. actually i got lotsa times and it's nothing when thinking about updating this little blog..ouh how can I don't have any time for it. updating it is as easy as abc. hurm, I just don't have the courage to type. that's the real thing babe.

since i've begun my new semester on last few weeks, so u must have some ideas about what i wanna share. room, college, class, and even classmates stuff are listed in my "must-have" bloglist. cliche..

for the time being i'll hold the post about my room and my bed which is my territory since my pal ecansenpai has updated hers, i want to share about others first. college? it's okay. nothing special. class? just nice. the timetable is not so pack. still got masa yang lopong lopong untuk take a nap. hiiii.

how about classmates thingy? yeay. this is just amazing. finally aku dan beberapa org kawan lagi terpisah dengan classmates lama. you're confuse isn't it. why does it seem like i'm that happy. ehem ehem. the real happy moment is not about pisah pisah matter, tapi bila dapat classmates baru. new environment or surrounding that might gimme some opportunity to challenge myself to communicate in front of a different people. dah 4 semester bercakap dan present sth depan orang yang sama, macam tak challenging sebab dah selesa.

i'll be missing amir like alot. he'd inspired me to talk confidently in front of people. he convinced me that everyone is just a same with any other and nothing to fear of. thanks amir! :) fortunately, i met some people yang boleh dijadikan competitors dalam class baru. kalau dulu, fateh. memang takleh nak lawan, he's too good to beat. tapi dah selesa ngan dia dah tak rasa apa ngan dia, tak rasa insecure pun. this is the major reason that i really like my new class. ouh yer, i met someone too. hey aku suka kot suara dia. truckey-voice. yes it is. aku suka suara dia. suara truck. rare!

what more? ouh sekarang nie aku nak asah bagi tajam tajam skill komunikasi aku. aku nak fluent and confident bila interact ngan orang. i wish i will be one before my muet test, before my practical term..and bla bla bla. aminnn...

ouh sekarang bulan puasa kan, so happy ramadhan.

post takat nie jer mampu. maghrib dah. kbye.

Sunday, 16 June 2013

#nw

#nowwatching

dikala pundi kencing menahan ia mengalir, aku terus lancar menekan bebutang komputer riba. apa yang mahu aku katakan? like hell. i don't know what to spit out about. from what i've heard every single day on Fly.Fm while setting up the stall sounds a lil bit like this

"why don't you say nothing when you have nothing to share?" - Hani Hatim

well this is not Facebook, so i don't give a damn to care its courtesy. hahah. so, i put some words lah kan sekarang nie untuk blog not-so-fame aku nie. i got lotsa story to tell about, tapi i just don't know where to start. they're too many of them since i am in my 2 months blissful holiday.

no worry lah tits, i'm gonna share my cambangang cerita soon okay. from the first day i started my holiday till the end of the day. not so whole, but i'm gonna share the interesting parts of my holiday. for sure, pinky-promise!

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Unfortunately, me again.


kakak! - baye

long time no see you tits. hahah. dah kenapa tetiba whatsapp memagi cemnie? i got no idea on what i'm gonna talk. tapi still nak update since i think i should too lah just because i've done with my two killer presentations namely VIVA presentation and Business Correspondence presentation. ouh this feeling sooooooooo good. got one paper more and i'm gonna run freely towards that kolej gate which guarded by Kak Nana. Pfffft!

How do you do soul? still in a good condition? ouh not good? what? ouh you're great huh. i'm glad that you're never give up on me and still with me throughout this madness semester. excited? yeah you have to! since we're gonna driving home. not me, but the bus driver. love me huh? i knew it babe.

but, deeply-deeply right down-down at bottom of my heart i'm already this semester 4 moment. and i'm officially not a semester 4 student anymore. no more English subjects for next semester since i'm gonna have business and marketing - something that need to use brain more - ikan! nak subjek Inggeris lagi :(

nothing to say more. got to go since got date with ma girls at 1100. yeay! then need to leggo my bloody kutik. she's done with her final paper as she only got one paper for the final! wtf kan. sigh. okebai.

kepala dongga,
tiwawamonst

Thursday, 25 April 2013

Anak Ikan Comel.


"Thanks tyra, sebab bg note grammar kt paan huhu (: from zul farhan"

your most welcome! hope you read it during revision weeks. so that you can answer the questions that will be given. wish you all the best and get an A for the subject that you'll be sit for. 

and currently, i'm writing for a report. it's for our teaching-learning session babe. Mohon dapat empat rata semester nie. aminnnnn.

ikan laga,
tyra

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Oath❤



Yo!
My best friend best friend till the very end
Cause best friends best friends don't have to pretend
You need a hand and I'm right there right beside you
You in the dark, I'll be the bright light to guide you

'Member the time-time-times sneakin' out the house
All of the time-time-times that you had your doubts
And don't forget all the trouble we got into
We got something you can't undo-do

Laughing so damn hard
Crashed your dads new car
All the scars we share
I promise, I swear

Wherever you go just always remember
That you got a home for now and forever
And if you get low just call me whenever
This is my oath to you

Wherever you go just always remember
You're never alone, we're birds of a feather
And we'll never change no matter the weather
This is my oath to you

I know I drive you crazy, hmm...sometimes
I know I call you lazy, and that's most times
But you complete me, and that's no lie
You are my tuxedo, and I'm your bow tie
We in the car sing sing singing our song
Walk in the building, tear it down like we're King Kong
And in my eyes you can do-do no wrong
You got a best friend? Sing, sing along

(Laugh!) Laughing so damn hard
(Crash!) Crashed your dad's new car
(All!) All the scars we share
I promise, I swear

Wherever you go just always remember
That you got a home for now and forever
And if you get low just call me whenever
This is my oath to you

Wherever you go just always remember
You're never alone, we're birds of a feather
And we'll never change no matter the weather
This is my oath to you

(ohhh) I'll never let you go
(ohhh) Whoa, this is my oath to you
(ohhh) Just thought that you should know
(ohhh) This is my oath to you

(Yeah!)
Wherever you go just always remember
That you got a home for now and forever
And if you get low just call me whenever
This is my oath to you
Wherever you go just always remember
You're never alone, we're birds of a feather
And we'll never change no matter the weather
This is my oath to you

(ohhh) You should know, you should know, you should know, you should know, yeah
(ohhh) Whoa, this is my oath to you
(ohhh) Wherever you go just always remember
You're never alone, we're birds of a feather
(ohhh) And we'll never change no matter the weather
This is my oath to you


Sunday, 21 April 2013

They Don't Know About Us❤


People say we shouldn’t be together
Too young to know about forever
But I say they don’t know what they're talk talk talkin’ about

Cause this love is only getting stronger
So I don’t wanna wait any longer
I just wanna tell the world that you're mine girl
Ohh

They don’t know about the things we do
They don’t know about the I love you's
But I bet you if they only knew
They would just be jealous of us
They don’t know about the up all nights
They don’t know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right
Baby they don’t know about
They don’t know about us

One touch and I was a believer
Every kiss it gets a little sweeter

It’s getting better
Keeps getting better all the time girl

They don’t know about the things we do
They don’t know about the I love you's
But I bet you if they only knew
They would just be jealous of us
They don’t know about the up all nights
They don’t know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right

Baby they don’t know about
They don’t know about us

They don’t know how special you are
They don’t know what you’ve done to my heart
They can say anything they want
Cause they don’t know 'bout us

They don’t know what we do best
It's between me and you our little secret

But I wanna tell 'em
I wanna tell the world that you're mine girl

They don’t know about the things we do
They don’t know about the I love yous
But I bet you if they only knew
They would just be jealous of us
They don’t know about the up all nights
They don’t know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right
Baby they don’t know about
They don’t know about us

They don’t know about the things we do
They don’t know about the I love yous
But I bet you if they only knew
They would just be jealous of us
They don’t know about the up all night’s
They don’t know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right

Baby they don’t know about
They don’t know about us

They don’t know about us
They don’t know about us

Seniority? What a kindergarten mindset.


kisah petang Sabtuday, aku terbaca tweet sorang minah nie yang di-RT someone. aku pun respond dan aku tak expect dia amik serious. ia berlarutan..




















dan seterusnya..

Anak ikan dan mak ikan.


"Assalamualaikum kak tyra, saya Zul Farhan, your tutee. Sorry tak reply message semalam. Semalam kluar gi main futsal hp tak bawak. I'm sorry."

- Nie number sape pulak? Semalam number mak eh. Okay fine, its okay. Pandai pun nak reply kata sorry. Bila nak balik, kita kena start cepat. Lagi 2weeks nak final dah.

"Ni number kawan. Number maxis takde kredit. Kita start minggu ni la. Tapi Paan sorang jer ke tutee kak tyra?"

- Ayayai. No wonder u didn't respond my text. Haa sorang jer, sorang satu dapat. Kenapa? Takpe, nanti kita join arzimee, mustaqim ngan tutor dorang. u wanna call me 'kakak' like seriously huh? How old are you actually.

"Ouh alright. ermm habistu nak panggil tyra je? tyra kan senior, 19 years old."

- Ek eleh sebaya ah, blom lagi 20. Kita study kena selesaso bahasakan aku kau jer. Anggap jer aku kawan, tapi respek la as a friend. Aku okay jer, adek aku lagi ber-aku kamu ngan aku lol. Okay nanti dah balik bagitau. Nie lama lama marah pulak kawan tu haa guna kredit dia. apa apa nanti aku text, jangan tak respond!

Haa, pandai pun nak text say sorry kat aku. Good boy! sejuk lah sikit hati aku nie kan. so, we're gonna begin our teaching-learning session soon babe. kalau boleh malam esok, tu pun kalau aku tak busy ngan assignment aku lah. Till that moment, I'm appreciating your apologize text. Great! you did it well. No hidden knowledge, mine will be yours. Let's get an A for this subject.

mak ikan,
kak tyra

Saturday, 20 April 2013

Help me to help you.


Zul Farhan Zubair. okay who the hell is that huh. tu lah nama anak ikan baru aku. puihh! dia melangsi sangat perangai dengan aku. the story begin..

last few classes with Madam Jamie, grammar class, she told us that we can choose anyone from our junior to be ours. what ours did mean there is actually something. we need to take a good care of them. huh, and i was like seriously madam? we can choose anyone madam? uhh i was so excited to have one! so aku pilih.

first name that attracted me was Mustaqim Siddiq. well hell kan nama gah gila. disebabkan madi - one of my buddies - laki, so aku rasa aku kena tanya lah dia nie gane attitude semua. and madi was like so lewah when commenting about this little guy. he praised this Siddiq was tall, good-looking, and bla bla. but at the end of his sentence he said that this guy didn't look like dengar kata. so, aku end up dengan buat keputusan yang i don't want this kinda guy lah. susah nak didik.

my two adorable eyes carefully searching for other's name. looking at one by one, and dang! i found one. it was the moment when my eyes hit the name of Zul Farhan. 

"okay i want this one madi. dia nie okay tak. Zul nie"

and madi kata, that Zul guy is okay in every ways. attitude pun tip top balik ke tip. muka pun ada. the hell madi. so without any hesitation i grabbed that kiddo since no one else that i thought could be much better rather than him yang dengar kata. so, i jot down his phone number to make my teaching-learning session easier. done with that pilih pilih anak ikan day, semangat is increased by 89%. nak mengajar lah konon!

aku tengok kengkawan semua pakat dok call tutee memasing. aku? krik krik. tak call dan tak text..langsung. actually i was giving him some days to relax and rest before get started with my hectic classes. today, yes today which is Friday. ouh, crap! today is already Sabtuday. whatever major loser, kira semalam lah aku text dia masa petang tu yang berbunyi:

"Salam, dear tutee Zul Farhan Zubair. i think it's kinda late and we need to get started with our teaching-learning session. so, how about tonight? jangan kata kau balik wey. :( - tyra, ur tutor."

NO RESPOND. krik krik.

20:56
i called him. i was keep hello-ing and no one hello me back even there's someone at the other line. dafuq! i was like why the hell u didn't talk to me huh? i was like retarded girl keep hello-ing someone that already pick the fucking phone up. ikan sungguh perangai.

second time, i called and someone has hello me back at the other line. alhamdulillah, ada jugak orang nak jawab hello picisan aku. haih. hey but wait a minute, why did the voice is so lovely. am i talking to his girl or what. 

"hello, sape nie. nak cakap ngan sape?"

"eh, nak cakap ngan Zul Farhan, nie sape?"

"dia balik kampung, nie mak dia."

"oh yer ker, camnie makcik kitorang ade program, saya kena ajar dia grammar. tapi takpe lah. bye assalamualaikum."

Tyra! why didn't u ask to talk to that kid? stupid idiot. dan kepala ligat pikir, eh kenapa mak dia yang angkat. dia nie dah kenapa takleh nak angkat sendiri. nak kata keluar tak bawak phone macam tipu sangat sebab orang berkapel nie mana boleh tak lekat ngan phone. nie mesti anak mak nie. kejang sekejap masa dengar tu mak dia. dah suara aku acah acah gangsta jer nak takutkan budak la konon.

aku syak dia memang anak mak, tapi apa salahnya kalau cakap direct jer kata balik. takyah nak guna kuasa veto mak cakap ngan aku. nyawa bagai disentap sekejap wey. saje kan prank aku, nanti kau Paan. balik nanti siap kau! berani beraninya mempermainkan senior yer. pffttttt!

and it such a long long time no see situation aite since i updated my last post? so, the reason is just because of this girl..


see, ada jugak orang yang merindui hasil tangan aku. hahah. well babe, i do apologize lah for my so mintak kaki attitude which is ikot sukahati bila bila masa nak update. actually i'm kinda busy with the assignments thingy and got no idea on what i want to speak about. this one pun randomly came after u asked me to have a new post. hahah, kira Paan nie beri sumber inspirasi kolaborasi jugak la untuk aku menghamburkan kata kata didalam era belog nie. thankielicious tutee!

jadah apa sembang pasal tutee, aku patot sebut lebih pasal budak kuning nie haa. hahah, i don't know u so well lah nak cakap pasal u babe. tapi kira dah mention nama u yang meletop letop bak kari kepala kambing nie pun dah kira okay lah kan. acah acah famous pulak aku. puihhh! hahah. btw, i'm appreciating your concern in reading all my retard posts before. sila bertahan dengan kata kata tahap cekam kuku kaki tu. aku punya bahasa melayu tak bagus mana lah even aku dapat A pelas masa SPM dulu. memang nak show-off pun. hahah. eh aku tak tipu la bab bab pelajaran nie, aku dapat A. tambah tanda + nie lagi kat belakang A. kira hebat jugak lah aku kan. aku masa mula mula dia tanya aku yang aku ker tuan punya belog nie, kira terkejut jugak la. kenapa la kau suka sangat baca belog aku wey. such a waste lah aku rasa. macam hape jer, baik baca buku teks sejarah lagi baguih. dah tentu tentu dapat A pelas pelas nanti. baca belog aku? bukan kata A, E pun blom tentu. aiye. hey, amal harap anda nampak nie. aku dah sebut haa namamu dibibir belog ku. LMFAO.

katanya..


terima kasih kuning! i love kuning. pisang sangat. *ciom*

xoxo,
bini Synyster Gates.

Monday, 1 April 2013

April Post.


You have no right to talk about your dream if you can't deal with things right in front of you.

Dear Me,

Wish for the best this April. Lotsa things to do, and I got no excuses to rely on. Forget people all around and concentrate on your task. You only got 1 option! to be the best that's mean get A's for all subjects and stunning on the stage next. That moment will come, what you have to do is work it out. No excuses, but enjoy your assignments. Don't push yourself, just do according your ability. You can challenge yourself, but don't force it. Do something with desire, it'll turn well. 

Bear in mind that you're cool, even you're vividly cool. Don't pretend if you don't like something, just burst it out. If you do so, you'll ruin yourself. It gives you heartache, and you'll never satisfy. Remember, what you do now is for you..in future. And if you don't do it now, you'll regret. 

Listen to me, don't be too nice. towards everything, anything, and..ouh whatever. You know why? because it'll limit your creativity and it's totally not good. I told you. If people say that you're bitch, just let it be. If that 'nick' can give you lotsa excitement that actually not a bad thing, just let the barking dogs bark. It just a matter of jealousy. Don't think about others, you have yourself and it's more than enough.

They don't know about you, they don't know about the things you do, and they even don't have the idea on what you're able to do. So, don't give a damn on what they're saying about. It's your life, and it's your right what path you want to walk on. What you have to do is just stand casually and spit on their hair because spit on their face are to rude. We can't be that rude since we're bitch. LOL

At the end of the day, you'll thank yourself for being yourself. And you'll appreciate yourself more than today. No regret after all. So, don't complain on your workload. It's your responsibility as a little adorable girl. Just do it. Trust me, because I don't really good in lying myself.

your soul,
Me

Saturday, 30 March 2013

Silencer.


If this love only exist in my dream, don't wake me up.

just because i have to hold on my promise. and in a reality, i have to hold on this:

"Don't fall in love if you have dream, desire, and vision."

who teaches you this? someone. someone that may be important indirectly. silently.

so much lies. i'm sick of this life.

Thursday, 28 March 2013

Dear John.

unfortunately, this is not John.
done with the speech delivery on The Hidden Side of Chewing Gum! yeay me, since i got nothing to do more tonight. so, i have to grab this opportunity to have an early sleep. i'm sooooooooo happy as it such a longggggggg time since i enjoyed my early sleep time.

it such a sad moment when i have to share something about my late John Rambo. who the hell is that? i believe that some of you might curious isn't it. well it was my boyfriend. percaya? hahah. are you that stupid huh. actually it was my pet, it's a dog dubbed John. but, why John? John got his name as we gave him that name for sure. ayayai. jangan memain lah. sangkak. the truth was, my family loved to watch Rambo. do you know that movie? it was an old movie. yet still interesting for our family even now since it's thrilling and full of actions. hiyahhhhhh! so, when that day which the day my ayah brought a little puppy to my house, me and my little brother with no doubt just giving him that name as we thought it was cool! we had John Rambo at our lawn! kau ade? lmfao.

but why the hell i have to write about this dead dog? it such a harsh word dude. just want to clear up something that John not died because of chewing gum, but because of unknown reason. my ayah believed that John has died because of poison. someone has poisoned John due to hatred. i still remember that day, i woke up in a morning and my mak told me that John has died. i was shocked as i saw John laying in front of our house the day before. I asked my mak where was ayah, and she told me that ayah was burying John near to John's favorite place - his shelter, little house. my tears start streaming. 

all the memories came back, pull me back to the old days. the days spent with John. 

it was a new day, having a dull evening in my house and i looked at outside of my house. i could see a little puppy was playing with himself. it was his second day at my house. i bet that he must be as bored as me too. i was a little kid during that time, if not mistaken i was 8 or 9 years old since i just had Udin that time. Udin is my little brother. i went out of the door and looked at John. i was quite afraid of John since it was my first time ever having dog as a pet. i stepped towards John and he started barking! i ran away and he chased me fiercely. i ran away, ran as fast as i could. and it was terrible because i was just running around my home yard! i couldn't stand and stopped at the door, i yelled at John breathlessly. 

"Dah, dah. jangan kejor. dah. penat. penat. aku penat. dah."

suddenly, i vomited. and John looked at me while i was vomiting. i was too scared until my stomach pushed out all the foods eaten before. and John just came nearer eating my vomit. it surprised me a lot! and i was like..hei kotor, jangan makan lah. by looking at him, it seems like John enjoying his meal that day. my vomit. i was a little kid during that day and what i see i will believe it, i assumed that my dear John could eat anything since then. bread, durian, biscuits, fried noodles, rice, anything..he enjoyed all of them. but, seriously saying that i never gave him chewing gum. never once!

so, the conclusion here is i was just lied during my speech delivery that saying John died because of chewing gum. it was just to show my credibility in that persuasive speech. i made up it as to convince le audiences. and it such a good thing to think about, thanks Lord that i was not that stupid. i never gave John tried chewing gum! if i did so, i'll regret for a lifetime. for those that curious on why dog cannot try chewing gum is because it contains xylitol which can kill dog. everything about John that i told you before are all true except the chewing gum matter. John died because of poisoning matter. something that more suck rather than chewing gum. how i wish i had John's photo. i miss him a lot. let John rest in peace. i love you John, still love you.

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Credentials.



inginku gapai bulan dan kupetik bintang.
                                                                         - Irwansyah

before aku letak nama Irwansyah tu, rasa macam umphh jer ayat tu. tetapi setelahnya, it seems to see sooooo gelimat. geez. pepetang cemnie dengar lagu gegitu. it's not my fault at all when the adorable ears listened to that kinda songs. haih, it turned automatically. shuffle mode. so, get going jer. but, that sentence got really a deep meaning. even deeper. the desire to pluck stars and touch the moon is such a daydream. sigh.

today.

everybody is having their own activities. momo with her notes, for sure since she is a bookworm. but, she's cuter than worm so how about we change it to book people. so that book people is currently reading notes for our next test. nadya? i got not idea but i believe that she's also reading notes as they're living in a same room. so, kalau tak membaca aku yakin dia tido. ecan is wandering around the web. searching for something that can reduce her social hunger. kutek, as usual is currently hitting the bitchy bed. i guess she's tired as hell. like everyday. and me is typing this entry, nothing to do. hey, why you no read notes? i don't have the feeling to read any notes. yawn.

so actually me and my dear tits, kutek, is doing our responsible as a girl. we're fasting to reduce the loan that we had before. this is the time to pay back what have The Almighty lent us. we owe some 'times' during Ramadhan a year before. do hope that the loan will be settled soon. sooner.

16:32. few hours to go. stay strong dear me.