YOU SHOULDN'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS, THEY ARE MORE SCREWED UP THAN YOU THINK

Thursday 28 February 2013

I hate myself.


rasa nak makan, dada rasa senak rasa macam ade benda stuck kat bahagian oesophagus.
bila gi kafe, tengok lauk takde satu pun yang attract aku.
patut patut aku tak makan, tapi tangan tetap capai pinggan.
tak rasa nak makan langsung, lapar pun tak.
nak ambik lauk apa pun aku tak tau, tapi aku cedok sayur first since nak senang nyahtinja.
lepas ambik sayur, aku tak tau nak ambik apa pulak.
pandang dua tiga kali lauk, still takde yang menarik selera langsung.
last last ambik jer apa ada depan mata, yang paling dekat.

makan.

siap makan, basuh tangan.
sampai bilik, minum air mineral banyak banyak.
harapkan perut cepat proses, bagi semua keluar.
duduk atas katil, rasa kenyang sangat.
rasa senak kat dada lagi semakin senak, macam makanan nak terkeluar.
rasa menyesal datang, tak tau nak buat apa.
kepala terpikir "menyesal makan, aku patutnya tak makan nasik. kenyang sangat"

sabar.

2liter air setiap hari, minum dan minum.
tapi still tak nyahtinja jugak, apa silap aku pulak kali nie.
sayur dah makan, air dah banyak.
dalam seminggu nak dapat sehari nak nyahtinja pun kira susah, kenapa?
aku tak paham dengan masalah diri sendiri, aku benci perangai aku.
hati mula kata, macam mana nak layan diri sendiri dengan betul?

marah.

nasik memang best, tapi kalau tak lapar kenapa ambik.
roti benda bagus, boleh simpan bila taknak makan.
air elok untuk badan, beli dan simpan dalam bilik buat stok banyak banyak.
dan satu benda yang perlu, beli teh yang macam mak punya.
at least sekali seminggu minum, bagi lawas perut.
lain kali sila jangan makan nasik bila tak perlu, serious talk kau mesti menyesal.
menyesal sebab masuk senang, nak keluar payah.

mengada.

lepas nie, tinggalkan tabiat buruk makan takde aim.
makan untuk survive dan bila betul betul lapar nak mati sahaja.
menyesal tak, hidup lebih bahagia.
ini minggu terakhir makan nasik tanpa aim, aku menyesal gila!

lebih baik aku jadi pelik dari normal, biarlah orang kata aku pelik makan megi kosong tak letak perencah. biarlah orang kata boleh hidup ker makan oat jer. biarlah orang kata apa pun. aku rasa aku okay jer tak makan nasik. yang penting aku takkan rasa menyesal lepas makan nasik. bunyi macam tak bersyukur ngan rezeki. tapi kalau tu jer yang boleh buat aku lega dengan hidup nie, aku rasa aku perlu buat. makan la nasik bila rasa nak makan. fuck normality, just follow your thirst.

kata dari lidah,
tekak manusia

Thursday 21 February 2013

That one day.


that one shitty smelly day! aku nyaris nyaris kena extend sem. with unintended behavior, me with my two insane buddies keep spitting out all the words on that stupid twitter. some words that have offended someone dear to me. she's the one and only. the adorable one.

i just can't understand on why that particular girl named titties (fake name), interfered with our social life. this is my space to voice out. sedar diri dulu bila nak sibuk masuk campur hal aku. aku taknak cari pasal dah. like please! we got a lot of assignments to be done rather than hold a hoe and start digging others private properties. like deeply deeper.

your name is at the top of the list whore. keep it in your mind!
this is college. enjoy your moment. care of your own thingy, that is your carry marks and final paper. just please, i never touched you...before. and today, i swear on my own name i won't disturb you...and your clan. no doubt, trust me. you can keep my words since i'm not good in lying. like seriously.

one thing to remind you. i don't hate you bitcha, yet still don't like you much. i'm kinda don't even care with your existence actually. neither you are here nor not, it's not my problem. it'll never ruin or affect my daysssss. this is my blog, don't ever think to touch it like what you've done to my twitter acc. you just did too much!


thanks for your care, as i promise before i'll never touch you aite. like hello, i'm kinda gelimat nak pandang kau inikan pulak nak sentuh. you with your ass may godai. butthurt? do i look like i care? pffftttt, talk to my clitoris!

private and confidential,
Oat Germ.

Friday 15 February 2013

Taken by Unknown❤


"Kalau dia memang jodoh kita, sejauh mana pun dia pergi, dengan siapa pun dia bersama, dia tetap akan datang dan menjadi milik kita"
-someone's

and here i wanna share you this short story written by dear all the times favorite blogger of mine, eijat abdullah. 

entry punuh click sini❤
ya, the day will come. Allah have planned everything for me. sekarang masa untuk menjalankan misi aku yang satu. Australia, mudah mudahan. aminn :)

Saturday 2 February 2013

Little Things❤



Your hand fits in mine
Like it’s made just for me
But bear this in mind
It was meant to be
And I’m joining up the dots
With the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me

I know you’ve never loved
The crinkles by your eyes
When you smile,
You’ve never loved
Your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back
At the bottom of your spine
But I’ll love them endlessly

I won’t let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
But if I do
It’s you
Oh it’s you
They add up to
I’m in love with you
And all these little things

You can't go to bed
Without a cup of tea
And maybe that’s the reason
That you talk in your sleep
And all those conversation
Are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me

I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you’re perfect to me

I won’t let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
but if it’s true
It’s you
Oh it’s you
They add up to
I’m in love with you
And all these little things

You’ll never love yourself
Half as much as I love you
You’ll never treat yourself right darlin’
But I want you to
If I let you know
I’m here for you
Maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you
Oh..

I’ve just let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
Because it’s you
Oh it’s you
It’s you
They add up to
And I’m in love with you
And all these little things

I won’t let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
But if it’s true
It’s you
It’s you
They add up to
I’m in love with you
And all your little things