Wednesday, 30 January 2013

The best sperm won 20 years ago.

adorable part of sperm become something that is awesome.

“I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday”
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Yes it is! I made choices 20 years ago; I made a choice to become a winner. I made a choice to not die as a sperm. I was an awesome sperm that brave and very energetic swam along the fallopian tube and finally reached the ovum. I was the one who won that battle. It was not an easy task to penetrate the egg, but I succeed. That is what we call superb! Today, I am a human being. Not a little adorable sperm anymore. My tongue is boneless, but it is strong enough to kill people’s words. I get the feeling. This is me, Nor Athirah Ismail. I am 20 years young this year, I meant 20 years old. I think we should use ‘young’ instead of ‘old’ since I am not too old. I got a lot of things about me to share. Let’s know me better, but from where to start? Read more.

First of all, credit to my parents for such a lovely name they gave to me. Wait a minute, it was my uncle actually whose gave me that name. It was a blast day ever; a little adorable girl was born on 20th June of 1993. A year later, I got a little bratty brother named Izzuddin called as Udin. It such a wonderful moment since I got a friend to play with. Few years later, from one to another sperm won in penetration battles. They are Ain, Aina, and Izwan. Finally, I have five siblings including me. It is awesome! Every each of us is champion. Done with siblings, we move to school. It was the place where I learn how to make friends with other winning sperms. I was a student of Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Simpang Beluru before I submitted into this college. Some people might ask me back, “what? Is it ‘peluru’(bullet)?”. No, it is not. My school’s name is not that savage. It is not a Hogwart which educate little children becoming witches and wizards; it is only a government school. How about my SPM result? Well I am not so good. 4A2B4C, that’s all I got. Yet, I am thankful to Allah since I was just got 4A’s for SPM because if I get more than that I will never had a chance to be here in this college. I might be at somewhere else. Kolej Professional Mara Indera Mahkota, it is my current study place. I have improved a lot here, thanks to lecturers. I learnt not to be afraid of making mistake since from mistake we can improve ourselves. I met a lot of fun people here. Sometimes, I talk to myself “No wonder he or she won 20 years ago.”

My journey is not done yet. I have a dream to make it alive. The dream sound funny, but I put a belief in my mind that I can have it in future. You must be curious on what I am dreaming of. I want to be a pilot. Some of you might say that it is a ridiculous dream since I am doing Diploma in English Communication. Here, I want you to listen on my life plan. Once I finished my diploma, if I get 3.5 and above for my CGPA I will apply for a place in somewhere in Australia universities. I say if I get it since it is my dream to be there and become one of the members of some universities there. It is my first plan route. The second route is the backup plan if I get 3.49 and below, I will apply for a place in Universiti Sains Malaysia, Penang. I am going to apply Mass Communication there since I like to speak and in my opinion it will give me a wider scope of job. This is the plan actually; I am going to work and have my own salary. Work is the main thing, studies is my second one (the plan will be different if I studying abroad for sure). In other word is I am going to make a part time study for my degree. I will work during weekdays and attend class during weekend. It sounds so tiresome, yes I know it. The salary will be divided into two parts, studies and licence. What licence? You really do not get the idea yet? It is for my airplane licence. You got it right, I am absolutely insane. The fee for taking that licence is not that cheap. I have to spend RM250 000-RM300 000 to have one. I just want to make my dream become a real one. I got few years left or it will forever disappear since the age for applying a pilot is 28 years old and below. I will try to do as best as I can. Yet, it sounds impossible to have that such of money in a short time. It is okay, I have the third route that is when the money is not in an exact amount. If my degree has finished but my money still not enough for the licence, I am going to put a full-stop to my dearest dream. I am not done yet people. On that day, I will not lost or waste my time. I will be a lucky one since I will have work experiences, degree, and some amount of money. Then, I will apply for a job in any airport that needs my expertise. I will be one of the officers there instead of pilot. Yet still in a surrounding of airport and no one ever knows that I will find my future husband there. He might be a pilot, no one knows right. This is my future plan, it is my mission. My plan is my aim. I am a good planner is it? Sometimes, I am jealous of my parents because I know I will never have a kid as awesome as me. I do believe that I make a right decision 20 years ago to become a winner and not die as a sperm.


submitted. YEAY!

this is my essay writing for my subject. the language was so..mintak kaki. hahah. but wait, it's my real future plan and my real history. it's a bless to share here. *sengeh*

essay writer,
tyra ismail (4C)

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Daymare, @TyraMonster is being suspended.

Surprise! Surprise!❤  

This is the best feeling ever. macam kena jackpot. my followers together w my followings are all gone. farewell guys! selama nie korang best sangat kan kata kena twitlimit semua. nah aku punya account terus kena suspended. durjana sangat tau, suka buat aku suspen Twitter nie. aku rasa aku tak tweet apa apa yang salah pun. takkan sebab aku sebut nama Maria Ozawa semalam kot. bapak ah kejam, nak seru nama dia tak boleh. nie aku sebut nie entah entah esok lusa blog aku pulak kena block. nama memang dah banyak virus sangat la tu, malware trojan bagai ada. shit!

baru jer pagi tadi berbahagia bahagia tweet pasal event birthday Rasulullah kat kolej. baru jer tengahari tadi tweet pasal lapar ..

"Hungry as hell!" 

"chillin on the bed while enjoying chupa chups" 

oh demn!

petang tadi ngantuk sangat, tido lah sebab semalam tido lambat pukul3. tido lah tanpa syak wasangka kat Twitter. bangun tadi waktu asar. bukak phone, nak tweet lah konon kata ..

"ouh, backache..again." 

sekali nak masuk profile pun tak boleh. siap kata password aku salah bagai. like hello! aku bukan nya tua mana nak lupa lupa password. aku ingat lah! tak puas hati punya pasal bukak laptop sambil celop instant noodle dalam bowl seperti yg telah dijanjikan pada tengahari sebelumnya. hati chill lagi pikir pasal megi celop kosong.


"This is the end 
Hold your breath and count to ten 
Feel the earth move and then 
Hear my heart burst again 
For this is the end 
I've drowned and dreamt this moment 
So overdue, I owe them 
Swept away, I'm stolen "

Skyfall turned on...

Twitlimit is nothing, this is thrilling. senak hati aku lepas tengok natang nie. megi celop dalam mangkuk aku dah lupa dah. otak ligat pikir amende aku tweet sampai kena suspended. like seriously? aku salah apa sangat. oh shit shit shit. aku gi lah baca kat link dia bagi tu kot aku dapat tau apa hal aku kena suspended bagai, dia kata maybe aku follow ramai sangat. like please! talk to my ass, aku follow orang yang follow aku jer then yang aku kenal DAN berkenan ngan tweet dia SAHAJA. tu sebab follower aku lagi sikit dari following aku. dah aku follow dia, dia unfollow aku. hina sangat tau. dijadikan bahan persenda sendi jer aku nie kat situ. yet still sabar jer orang tua nie even orang buat cemtu.

learn more? what do you expect me to learn more huh. tahi mung twitter. sia sia aku setia ngan hang, cemnie hang buat kat aku kan. dush dush dush! FREEDOM OF SPEECH. mana, mana hak tu huh. even kat Twitter pun tak boleh nak ber-demokrasi. *terajang*

arena twitter is no more for " Tiwa Datang ❤ " say bye-bye. tu lah aku rasa macam ada orang report kat Twitter nie aku punya tweet annoyed dorang. see, syak wasangka. kat sini aku nak advice sikit, korang jangan lah banyak sangat followers budak sekolah. kadang kadang dorang tak bape nak berkenan tweet kita. no, i meant aku punya tweet lah. aku suka maki sikit budak sekolah yang ada dalam tu. mana tak nya, baru umur bape dah buat hebat macam expert sangat bab cinta. penuh TL aku ngan ayat jiwa jiwa jer. ada sorang tu pulak suka sangat main retweet. semua tweet orang pun dia gi RT. batak RT ker pun. cuba kau pikir lah kan ade minah tu just tweet ..

" #TeamTakCurang #TeamSetia "

itu nak RT? apa motif? jadahnye weh. aku tak kata salah nak retweet, yes u may dear. tapi dah kalau full satu TL dia punya activity RT jer, ke-babi-an apakah itu. memang #WhatTheAhAh lah kan, aku straightforward jer cakap. terasa kot. tu yang report kat Twitter. baru rasa kan orang tua sorang nie kan. k foine foine, ambik lah twitter tu buat hak sendiri. aku still got facebook lah weh. tapi kalau aku update status every min buat macam kat twitter memang kena maki aku. 

" wey, gi twitter lah nak update status every sec. nie facebook. semak lah "

awak, twitter acc kita kena suspended. kita sedih tau. oh maybe sebab aku suka sebut " shit, shit, shit" kot. oh demn. lemah gila twitter. dah tak bleh dah lah nak tweet mereng sewel. kat facebook kena behave jer. takpe lah, tiba masa untuk stop social networking dan start study baca buku nie. because it so-sial. rezeki tweet aku dah takde, dah kena tarik. bukak buku baca buku. kata nak pointer best. jangan merungut. tak baik, tak baik. bersangka baik sebab semua benda terjadi atas sebab. baru suspended acc twitter, belom suspended acc hidup lagi. tak dapat makan minum. baru tau tinggi rendah langit tu kan. yang pergi biarkan ia berlalu pergi.

@NonSoberSarah. dia pun kena hack dah haa. buat acc baru. *sigh*

new acc of her. @NonSoberSarah_
or should i open up satu akaun lain? akaun tanpa guna nama dan gambar sendiri? macam @NonSoberSarah? haih. dasar desperados punya tiwawa. are u dying without twitter acc? clear your mind, lend your ear and pay attention on your aim. apa aim sebenarnya? apa sebab mak ayah bayar broadband? twitter ker facebook? tak, tagged. hahah. cit, leh memain lagi hang pompan. aku lempang kang cacat seumo hidup. sabar. *Lagu Anuar Zain terpasang - Perpisahan*

its okay, still got blog. just let it be lah. bukan apa sangat pun. kalau dia ada nanti ada lah. takde sudah lah. malas nak pikir dah. kira korang dah set free dari segala tweet hambar aku. thanks to me. no more tweet. boobsie! 

there's nothing else I can say but this:
people, tweet sampai account suspended. tweet sampai twitlimit is nothing, but loser.

Stefani Jobs.

Tuesday, 15 January 2013


Middle finger for you Bitcha.

totally unfair, shame on you old lady.

and now, you listen to these two people words. 
Hasrizal Abdul Jamil Aka SaifulIslam

Pada tahun 1991, semasa di Tingkatan 4, saya dan rakan-rakan dihantar mewakili pihak sekolah ke kursus kepimpinan Islam anjuran sebuah pertubuhan bukan kerajaan untuk anak muda di negeri Perak. Kursus itu dianjurkan di Sekolah Menengah Agama Sultan Azlan Shah, Seri Iskandar, Perak.

Sudah menjadi kelaziman, saya dan rakan-rakan gemar duduk di kerusi paling hadapan, kerana itu yang dipesan oleh guru-guru sebagai ciri orang yang mahu berjaya.

Di dalam salah satu slot ceramah, saya dapati penceramah tidak menyukai sekolah kami dan saya tidak pasti apa puncanya. Kata-kata penceramah itu makin lama makin sinis. Akhirnya dia berkata dengan nada sarcasm, "kamu pelajar sekolah agama, jangan ingat dengan masuk sekolah agama kamu akan masuk Syurga. Saya pernah jumpa pelajar Sekolah Izzuddin (sekolah kami) yang apabila minum arak tidak mabuk. Tetapi apabila minum air, mabuk!"

Kata-katanya diiringi gelak ketawa peserta lain (sekolah menengah seluruh negeri Perak).

Saya bangkit, keluar dari meja dan berdiri di hadapan penceramah itu selama beberapa saat.

Beliau tergamam.

Saya mengajak rakan-rakan sesekolah kami untuk keluar meninggalkan majlis.

Kami bergerak ke surau dan mengambil wudhu' kerana mahu meredakan rasa marah yang amat sangat. Selepas solat sunat, kami duduk termenung di surau untuk bertenang. Tiba-tiba urusetia datang dan marahkan saya dengan rakan-rakan. Katanya kami menghina majlis! Kami pula yang dikatakan menghina!

Saya membatukan diri dan kemudian berkata, "selagi penceramah bodoh itu masih berada di dalam dewan, saya tidak akan masuk. Saya tidak akan berkongsi bumbung dengan orang seperti itu!

Kejadian tersebut mengecohkan perjalanan kursus. Pihak penganjur telah membuat laporan rasmi kepada pihak sekolah tentang salah laku kami dan semasa di bilik Pengetua, saya mempertahankan tindakan kami kerana saya bukan hanya mempertahankan maruah diri, tetapi maruah sekolah yang dihina sesuka hati oleh penceramah 'bermasalah' tempoh hari.

Mempertahankan maruah adalah tanda iman. Saya tidak pernah menyesal dengan tindakan kami yang sangat menyusahkan ketika itu. Namun saya amat kesal apabila Presiden Suara Wanita 1Malaysia ini bertindak memperbodohkan mahasiswi India berkenaan yang menyuarakan pendapatnya berbekalkan fakta, menimbulkan persoalan untuk dijawab dan mempamerkan keberanian untuk 'exercise' minda Menara Gadingnya yang tidak menerima bulat-bulat pendapat yang diajukan oleh panelis.

Sikap ego, menghina, dan rendah akhlak itu, menghina pelajar tersebut, dan yang paling mengecewakan saya, tiada seorang pun di depan tampil membela dan mempertahankan mahasiswi berkenaan. Saya tidak dapat membayangkan saya berada di dewan itu dan saya tidak berbuat apa-apa.

Presiden Suara Wanita 1Malaysia itu bukan siapa. Dia bukan menteri, dia bukan pensyarah, dia orang luar. Dia datang ke kampus anda dan menghina rakan anda, dan tiada apa yang dilakukan.

Maruah adalah perkara terakhir yang boleh menjadi matawang nilai diri. Jangan yang satu itu pun anda golok gadaikan.

Pembodohan, adalah jenayah memusnahkan bangsa!

Solidariti saya untuk mahasiswi tersebut. Moga rakan-rakannya berfikir, berfikir dan bertindak bijak. 


Hilal Asyraf

"If you unhappy with Malaysia, get out from Malaysia."

Saya bukan tak happy dengan Malaysia.
Saya sayang, gembira dengan Malaysia.
Cuma saya kisah bagaimana 'penjaga' kepada Malaysia,
dan bagaimana penjaga itu 'menjaga' Malaysia.

Kami rakyat yang undi, dan itu tanggungjawab pemerintah untuk jaga sebaiknya. Salah kah kami, rakyat, yang merupakan boss sebenar negara ini, untuk bagi komen dan kritikan terhadap pemimpin, tentang bagaimana dia urus tadbir? Salahkah kami, rakyat, yang dimohon untuk mengundi mereka ini, memberikan pandangan untuk kebaikan semua?

Malaysia ini rakyat punya.
Kami berhak bersuara.

Ingat baik-baik, kita ini takkan selalu di atas.
Hari ini kita cakap macam itu pada orang.
Nanti masa orang kita sokong tu jatuh,
orang lain naik buat kita pula macam mana kita buat kat orang sebelum ini,
baru kita tahu langit tu tinggi atau rendah.

Jangan buat Malaysia ini macam beberapa puak sahaja yang punya.
Kalau tiba-tiba Allah izin negara kita ubah kerajaan yang memerintah, you suka orang halau you keluar dari negara ini?


Kita suka orang layan kita baik-baik, kita layan orang baik-baik jugalah. Buat apa halau-halau orang keluar negara dia sendiri? Cukai yang selama rakyat bayar tu, apa? Tak ada nilai?

Tak ada rakyat, pemimpin tu title kosong aja.
Sedar itu.

Nikmat itu bersifat sementara. jadi jangan riak dalam memberi.

  "Tangan kanan memberi, Tangan kiri tidak tahu"

pemilik gigi taring,
tyra ismail

Friday, 4 January 2013

Me, text and register day.

it was 1:05 in the early mornight when i got a text from my girlfriend, zaty, saying that mista capital A asked me to get my stuffs that i left with him for so damn long time ago. it's not that i don't want to have them back, i want them back of course. the problem is i want him to give all of them to my girlfriend, zaty of course. it's not about i can't confront with this guy named A**, but it's the matter of where and how i could contact him. even your phone number pun i never know since you've changed it to a new one. for sure you changed it lah kan since you need some privacy. and i really less care about it. you want to change it, i don't care at ALL. tapi when this thingy happened, when i asked some help from my girlfriend to get my stuffs from you ..naahhh, you should help me out lah. ehh maybe i should change 'me' to 'her' since the one who asked you to have them back was zaty not me. so can't you just help her out? don't you?

i read the text on 6:27AM and i was like "jadahnya A** nie, nak aku jugak mintak sendiri." dengan mata berat sangat aku tengok jam. what the asdfghjkl; ♥, yes, i did say that i want to wake up on 6:45AM. but it was too much. 6:27 early in the morning, and i was terjaga! it's okay to wake on that time actually. boleh lah berjaga jaga so tak lambat nanti nak gi register kat hall. the best part was i can't go to sleep ..again. i was thinking about the text. it was so annoying. it's not about zaty, but it's all about the content. is it a big problem to give them to zaty jer. aku sendiri tak paham. but, i do respect the request made by him. i want no any problem, so i think it's not a big deal pun kalau aku mintak sendiri. i'll inbox you on facebook since it's the only place that i can get connected to pun kan. tak ada apa hal lah.

2013, buka buku baru, buku 2012 dah penuh. jahanam.
so it is the day, 4th January a new year of 2013! first of all i would like lah to say Selamat Tahun Masihi Baru. wish for the best untuk this very own year. i've said that i want to get awake early in the morning today right. it's not about i want, it's about i need to. it's all about the college matter which has begun already. it was subjects registration day this morning, so i need to get my feet early on the floor of the hall. nak berebut class lah katakan. bila awal kira dapat queue up kat the very front of the door. so once they open the door, we who in the first line of people nie boleh lah berambat mara kedepan without any hesitation. kalau kat belakang kan macam kinda hard to have the best chosen class with the best chosen lecturers.

7:27AM. i'm kinda amazed with myself just because it was too early in the morning and i'm already get ready to go out. i couldn't see any sun's shadow, but fortunately i could see the 'nur' that have been shared by it. haha, ayat m. shadows much. LOL. you guess what i've been thinking all the way hall. haaa, aku ingat aku lah orang yang paling awal pegi, 7:27pagi kata. my confident level was soooo height. sekali kalih mata kat pintu belakang. woah, it surprised me that i've put my confident too height up up above. there's so many people kat situ dah. not so many actually, yet still many. what can i say more. first line? uhh ohh, you can get into if only you're a Barbie. unfortunately, you're only an adorable monster. so, i've just make myself fit enough in the third line. and it was so awkward to stood up all the time sampai masa register tiba. few minutes more ..few minutes ..just few minutes ..i keep repeating the same words all the time.

i just don't like the people there. i was wondering can't they just shut up, or at least speak in a lower voices. they should have some manner. it made me headache. every each of them got different story! and i was like "perlu ke nak story kat sini jugak benda benda macam tu". propaganza jer semua. tapi takde lah aku say it all aloud, kata dalam hati jer. hahah, ingat aku berani sangat. lagipun, nanti jadi masalah gaduh kat hall backdoor pulak kan. once jadi macam tu, get ready to say bye-bye to 4C class lah kiranya. naya jer. and i was there waiting, queue up for a place in 4C class. *sabar*

8:50AM and the door was opened such for a long time! guess what. ganas gila. the students dah macam merusuh masuk hall. and what was so funny that shocked me, kasut melayang. hahah. i got no time to think who the hell was the shoes owned by. and i got no time to see clearly the characteristics of it. the texture? lagi lah. i left it behind, but it was really hilarious. i ran and i saw nanad was there be the first person in the line. and i was stopped immediately from running since i knew i looked so awful when run. tadaaa! it was 4C's line and i was there. i'm kinda disappointed when i can't fitted myself in the line. it's full of other students ..and i was acah acah drama sedih sebab tak dapat masuk line. dan pada masa tu lah, ecan pulled me into the line. woah, it was so cruel to others i thought. yet still so grateful sebab stick with the old classmates. credit to ecan. and of course dear my girlfriend, nanad sebab tuliskan nama dalam name list. *joget joget*

we got new class members too, hope to hear a good new soon. wish we could adapt towards each other lah. some of the students were not puas hati sangat sebab tak dapat class yang dorang nak. for me, it's all fate. it was fated by Allah. we just can plan, but we've no power to make sure that what we planned we'll get. we can't. me myself have experienced it. it was last semester when i couldn't get the class that i desire much. the real term is 'we' instead of 'i' since the plan was arranged by all of us nak class tu. plan punya plan tak dapat. so, this sem in a new year of 2013, i'm just being cool and keep chilling on the night before the reg day since i don't want the same thing happen again. i just follow what my friends insist me to do so. i even didn't see at the timetable arrangement. i just get my pen on the table and wrote down all the lecturers name for the 4C class which prepared by faliq on the form given by sir aliff the day before. i hope it was the best path to walk on. and it is.

untuk tahun hebat ini, keju!
from now on, i'm one of the members of 4C's class. i didn't put any big hope on getting this class. i'm flexible, every class got their own good sides. and i start believe that when we expect less, we can get more than what we expected. insyaAllah. ohh, and i'm very thankful to Allah since i never expect that my pointer for the last semester would be increased. for the whole months of my holidays, i'm expected that my pointer could decrease because my carrymarks were very low. and it didn't surprise me at all if my pointer is sooo low for this semester. but, it really surprising me a lot on the day i stood up in front of my mentor, sir aliff, the result was amazed me. it's not so height yet still make me soooo happy. and i was saying dalam hati "two more semester and one year to do very well in studies sebelum further tempat lain!" tak sabar nak say bye-bye to kuantan. should i prepare a farewell speech for kuantan? hahah.

p/s: regretfully apologize to my classmate, Fateh for some reason on today reg day. it's all our fault, not yours. *tunduk*