Give my heart a little break.

nadya's:

"Hey girlfriend. What’s going on? Nampak tyra cm moody aje. Nadia ada buat salah ke? Nak tegur pun segan. You’re hiding sth izit? Well, I’m so sorry I’m doing wrong. Or maybe nadia ada terlepas pandang dkt assignment n group work kita. Mintak maaf lah. Sbb kepala nadia stress dgn personal pblem y sedia ada. Tp nadia cubalah tuk give commitment kat keje kita. Kan dh janji kita nak bjaya sama2. Nak aim pointer ssma. Nk share knowledge. Nadia dh janji tknak biar tyra sorg2 kalo ada mslh. Even dlm stdy pun. Test ke ape, kita share everything. Sbb nadia nk kita sama2 merasa success. Yeah, kita dlm dua alam berbeza. You have your own world instead of me having my dumby world. With no clues. I just go through. But I’ve nothing. You have everything. Good in stdy n etc. nadia mintak maaf lah kalo this sem, tkdpt bg komitmen cm dulu. Sbb terlampau busy. Stdy pun dah tak skrg. Itu nadia jadi blank. Risau. I just cnt stand if my bestie pretending to be happy. But you’re hurt inside. Idk. For me, I just grateful having you, friend. If I’m wrong, do correct me. :)"

momo's:

"Salam.. tyra.. whats wrong with u dear.? I know that u r not okay.. seriously rase risau n serba salah.. hm, did u angry with me.?? Org mintak maaf lah kaloorg ade wat salah pape kat tyra.. dlm keje group ke.. I know that I’m not a good partner, a good fren. . but I’m trying to be the best at ur eyes.. n nadia.. pemikiran n care kita tak same.. org mintak maaf kalau ape yg org bg slame ni lgsg tak membantu korang.. but believe me.. org risau sgt2 psl tyra. Org tau tyra bkn jenis yg nak cter mslah tyra kt org.. but please don’t be like this.. takot boleh effect kat study syg.. hm.. pape pon org montak maaf sgt2 atas smua salah n silap org.. maaf…"

A few texts received from my 2 dear darlings. Uols make me tears. Sekarang nampak sangat aku yang effect korang. Aku ingatkan korang tak perasan apa. Aku rasa aku dah sehabis baik tunjuk yg aku okay. Aku tak cakap apa2, aku tak show my dear tears dripping out my 2 lil eyes. Bur then uols still know what I feel about. Yes I’m not okay. But it’s not too bad sampai leh mendatangkan kematian. Im not going to commit suicide. Tak masuk syurga. Still waras lagi. Still tawu macam mana kehebatan syurga. Even mulut duk melucah tapi hati still lurus nak kearah syurga akhirat.

Nadya,

Why don’t we use ‘aku’ here. Hahah. Sorry for that words. Aku tak tawu why and why aku takleh nak guna ‘aku’ bila ngan kau. So let us just use you and I. yes, im not okay. But what should I say? Is it halal much to make u annoyed with my stupido problems? Dalam masa u pun ada masalah ngan diri sendiri, is it the same problem that uve told me before? Or it is a new one? I could share mine with u, I want to. But, just like what u said before in ur text kan yang u know me well. Im not that kinda girl yg too easy to reveal all the problems that Im facing on. Im not, nadya. Dear you, u did nothing wrong for me to correct on. Ure one of the best person I got as my lil dearest bestie. Yes u do nadya. Im not lying since I don’t know how to. U’re good enough! Yes, I would like to succeed with u by my side. I want u to excel in ur study, memang nampak lah sekarang nadya busy gila n im very understand on that matter. I less care about it, no worries. I will backup urs kalau ndya tak sempat or whatsoever lah. I will. U have me, tyra ismail. Ur lil queen dear lil princess.

Momo,

Seriously a lil shock once im reading your text! U did nothing wrong. Never once. U’re great enough. Rajin buat kerja then never once tak serious. Komitmen yang tinggi. Even u look childish, but u’re different dari apa yang nampak at the outside. U’re matured enough in making decision and settle up all the assignments things! U’re good in time management. Ada timetable bagai lagi, sedangkan iols tadop pun benda tu. Yes, I do have one but never follow it. hanya jadual pemakanan yang aku follow hari2. Memang dah lama nak share my problems with u but I feel some kinda malu. Tak tawu nak start dari mana dan macam mana. Maybe someday I will reveal mine jugak..maybe. u always asking me ‘awak okay?’ u should ask a different question lah sebab benda tu dah tawu apa jawapan dia. U know it well honey. Thanks for the cared that u shown on me. Im very appreciated that. After losing my 2 dearest friends last semester, I got no one to talk to. Yet still bersyukur sebab Allah masih bagi korang untuk tyra. I love uols mucho! Comolot sikit. Chup chup.

..with the presence of uols dear darlings!

 After a very deep thinking, im drilling down yaw..i think im going to settle up my old problems with dear E and A. yet still tak tawu bila tapi aku dah kuat enough nak confront to voice out my words untuk dorang. Aiman, we have no problems so I think we should start talking and cheer up ourselves. There is no problems between us, Aiman and tyra. We should to. I want to be a person yg professional. Aku digest semua buah pemikiran aku, and then I got the idea already. I want to clear up all the shitty thingy that I’ve done. Yes I know, I did wrong. A lot of mistakes have been done. Maaf pada yang aku buat taik selama waktu yang belakang2 ney. Aku gila, schizo, sakit jiwa, confuse, dan mengada. Aku patut think wisely dulu bukan sekarang baru nak pikir. Aku tawu a lot of things yang aku dah macam terlambat much untuk aku say sorry, but something is better than nothing aite. Hopefy dimaaf-ken. Pleasoooooo…….

Nota kaki: u better watch out, im going to hunt you seeking for forgiveness!