Silencer.

If this love only exist in my dream, don't wake me up.

just because i have to hold on my promise. and in a reality, i have to hold on this:

"Don't fall in love if you have dream, desire, and vision."

who teaches you this? someone. someone that may be important indirectly. silently.

so much lies. i'm sick of this life.

Dear John.

unfortunately, this is not John.

done with the speech delivery on The Hidden Side of Chewing Gum! yeay me, since i got nothing to do more tonight. so, i have to grab this opportunity to have an early sleep. i'm sooooooooo happy as it such a longggggggg time since i enjoyed my early sleep time.

it such a sad moment when i have to share something about my late John Rambo. who the hell is that? i believe that some of you might curious isn't it. well it was my boyfriend. percaya? hahah. are you that stupid huh. actually it was my pet, it's a dog dubbed John. but, why John? John got his name as we gave him that name for sure. ayayai. jangan memain lah. sangkak. the truth was, my family loved to watch Rambo. do you know that movie? it was an old movie. yet still interesting for our family even now since it's thrilling and full of actions. hiyahhhhhh! so, when that day which the day my ayah brought a little puppy to my house, me and my little brother with no doubt just giving him that name as we thought it was cool! we had John Rambo at our lawn! kau ade? lmfao.

but why the hell i have to write about this dead dog? it such a harsh word dude. just want to clear up something that John not died because of chewing gum, but because of unknown reason. my ayah believed that John has died because of poison. someone has poisoned John due to hatred. i still remember that day, i woke up in a morning and my mak told me that John has died. i was shocked as i saw John laying in front of our house the day before. I asked my mak where was ayah, and she told me that ayah was burying John near to John's favorite place - his shelter, little house. my tears start streaming. 

all the memories came back, pull me back to the old days. the days spent with John. 

it was a new day, having a dull evening in my house and i looked at outside of my house. i could see a little puppy was playing with himself. it was his second day at my house. i bet that he must be as bored as me too. i was a little kid during that time, if not mistaken i was 8 or 9 years old since i just had Udin that time. Udin is my little brother. i went out of the door and looked at John. i was quite afraid of John since it was my first time ever having dog as a pet. i stepped towards John and he started barking! i ran away and he chased me fiercely. i ran away, ran as fast as i could. and it was terrible because i was just running around my home yard! i couldn't stand and stopped at the door, i yelled at John breathlessly. 

"Dah, dah. jangan kejor. dah. penat. penat. aku penat. dah."

suddenly, i vomited. and John looked at me while i was vomiting. i was too scared until my stomach pushed out all the foods eaten before. and John just came nearer eating my vomit. it surprised me a lot! and i was like..hei kotor, jangan makan lah. by looking at him, it seems like John enjoying his meal that day. my vomit. i was a little kid during that day and what i see i will believe it, i assumed that my dear John could eat anything since then. bread, durian, biscuits, fried noodles, rice, anything..he enjoyed all of them. but, seriously saying that i never gave him chewing gum. never once!

so, the conclusion here is i was just lied during my speech delivery that saying John died because of chewing gum. it was just to show my credibility in that persuasive speech. i made up it as to convince le audiences. and it such a good thing to think about, thanks Lord that i was not that stupid. i never gave John tried chewing gum! if i did so, i'll regret for a lifetime. for those that curious on why dog cannot try chewing gum is because it contains xylitol which can kill dog. everything about John that i told you before are all true except the chewing gum matter. John died because of poisoning matter. something that more suck rather than chewing gum. how i wish i had John's photo. i miss him a lot. let John rest in peace. i love you John, still love you.

Credentials.

inginku gapai bulan dan kupetik bintang.

                                                                         - Irwansyah

before aku letak nama Irwansyah tu, rasa macam umphh jer ayat tu. tetapi setelahnya, it seems to see sooooo gelimat. geez. pepetang cemnie dengar lagu gegitu. it's not my fault at all when the adorable ears listened to that kinda songs. haih, it turned automatically. shuffle mode. so, get going jer. but, that sentence got really a deep meaning. even deeper. the desire to pluck stars and touch the moon is such a daydream. sigh.

today.

everybody is having their own activities. momo with her notes, for sure since she is a bookworm. but, she's cuter than worm so how about we change it to book people. so that book people is currently reading notes for our next test. nadya? i got not idea but i believe that she's also reading notes as they're living in a same room. so, kalau tak membaca aku yakin dia tido. ecan is wandering around the web. searching for something that can reduce her social hunger. kutek, as usual is currently hitting the bitchy bed. i guess she's tired as hell. like everyday. and me is typing this entry, nothing to do. hey, why you no read notes? i don't have the feeling to read any notes. yawn.

so actually me and my dear tits, kutek, is doing our responsible as a girl. we're fasting to reduce the loan that we had before. this is the time to pay back what have The Almighty lent us. we owe some 'times' during Ramadhan a year before. do hope that the loan will be settled soon. sooner.

16:32. few hours to go. stay strong dear me.

Retard Me.

i don't have the idea on what i'm gonna talk here, the feeling is strong to say something. but, i think this medium of blog thingy is not a safe one anymore to say anything that keep playing in my mind. blergh! lotsa things keep wandering around my mind. almost every each sec! i want to voice it out, but it's too private. no, it's not private pun senanye. it seems like i'm kinda uncomfortable to say it here.

ouh my syns! whats wrong with me huh. seriously, why the hell are you thinking of others. this is not a real you. lame! totally noob. numb. lump. goose. stfu!

kesialan happened dah nie haa. what more huh. percayalah, bahawa dalam ketidak tahuan ingin berkata apa apa ini akan bercambah benih benih ayat dan seterusnya menjadi sebuah karangan biografi yang sangat panjang. trust me, i'm syns gates' girl. ouh 40+ more days left! and i'm gonna get my ass off this college for my semester break. and this semester is not so hectic because it is so hectic. i got 2 papers only on my final exam. the rest are having no final paper since they're more to assignments. speaking, writing, report, event management, charity, lotsa things like that. bla bla bla.

after all, aku akan mati kejang sebelum dapat merasa jejak kaki kat Bora-Bora Island. after having some calculation during recess time previously, aku dah kira kira semua tolak tambah kali bahagi, i have to work harder on this semester! even aku dapat kan 4 rata semester nie, aku punya cgpa still tak cecah dekan. dapat la takat 3.2 something. tu pun kalau aku dapat 4 rata. 4 rata tu memang macam payah jer nak merasa kalau tengok kan cara aku sekarang nie. 

assignments bergunung ganang, satu pergi satu mari. tak sempat nak petik petik dah. i wasted lotsa times before, oup no! everyday and today. still here, laying on the bitchy bed updating some random thinking. this is how immature people walk their life. chilling everyday with no sense of worry. kinda a lil bit of worry. kinda, ouh.

disebabkan dah merepek terlalu panjang sampai dah masuk perenggan enam nie, aku sambung jer lah ke sebuah kisah pada suatu hari. kisah benar ini berlaku tiba tiba tanpa aku sedari. sinetron lapan malam bermula. actually aku teringat soalan kutek kat aku masa dalam kelas madam non tadi,

"Wey tyra, hang nak kawen ngan dingdang ka?"

dan aku mula terpikir, aku nak ker. memang pernah pikir pun sebelum nie, what will happen then if i get married with someone like that. i just can't thinking properly. yes, nothing was wrong with that thingy. tapi sebagai seseorang yang cuba berfikiran waras menggunakan 9 nafsu dan 1 akal, no way. there is no way to make this thing real, i mean this relationship is not gonna work out! but why the hell. jangan lah choosy sangat tyra. no, it's not about choosy. it's all about something more important than the title of kawen tu sendiri.

cemnie story dia yang aku duk pikir pikir. memang dia duduk sini dah, memang dia okay jer. yang tak okaynya family. dia lain, family aku lain. mak pak dia mesti speaking likat piau punya. mak pak aku pulak melayu tulen. dah tu gane nak communicate. i told you, there will be no neither interaction nor communication. it's a fail. so how can i survive? no, i can survive since i speak that language even not so fluent. i just can't take any risk beyond. ya, yang kawen aku bukan family aku. no, pada aku kalau dah kawen tu family kita sekali kita bawak sama. macam mana nak bina hubungan baru, saudara baru kalau family pun takleh nak get along. 

nak kata suka, memang suka jer kat dingdang nie, dah muka sama seacuan dengan crush zaman kelas tambahan dulu. bezanya yang dulu tu bukan Islam la, dia Singh. hari hari gi class memang duk usha dia jer la. sumber inspirasi, kira masa tu memang rajin la datang class even class boring tahap lahanat. aku ingat aku jer perasan muka dia sama dengan Sunil, last last kawan kamcing aku pun duk kata muka dia familiar. aku tanya sape agak agak. Sunil ker, hahaha memang dia kata terus eh nie bukan Sunil ker. retard, mana nak korek dah gambar Sunil. nie kira Sunil 2.0. I don't know why i have to meet this boy. muka sama pulak tu. adakah ini yang dikatakan fated to each other? mohon kerat 14.

dan aku seraya berkata kepada kutek bahawasanya. tak, aku taknak. actually with hesitation kat situ. aku cakap aku boleh paling hebat pun couple jer lah. the reasons are all stated. family come first, benda benda cemnie boleh datang kemudian. dan aku bukan dalam phase mencari lagi. i don't know why, tapi aku belum sedia lagi nak stay dalam satu hubungan yang serious. no, i'm not yet.

nak kata aku tak minat kat laki, macam tak jer since memang bedozen aku minat. tapi semua takat suka gegitu jer. dua tiga minggu lepas tu suka orang lain pulak. feeling nie kekejap jer dia main. minggu nie suka dia, 3 minggu lagi orang tu. so, aku tak boleh nak static kata dialah pilihan aku sekarang and i have to work on that thing! takde sorang pun yang bagi aku feeling suka tahap gegila sampai aku sendiri nak pegi jumpa kata aku suka kamu sangat sangat. takde. sebab dunia sekarang nie laki segak kat mana mana jer. dan sekarang i'm not into segak dah, aku suka bila dia tu nanti boleh buat lawak ngan aku. kira pass dah. dan itu sesungguhnya payah. but this dingdang has both. dan aku just can't pick him, i know that you can find someone much better and perfectly suit to you. yeah, kau hot dingdang. aku jer malas nak admit kata kau hot bila kau tanya. pffft!

dan aku merasakan sangat lah lain macam bila cakap guna mothertongue kat sini. bukan apa, macam pelik sebab dah selalu duk update guna bahasa dehake. sigh. semua sebab takut dingdang jumpa nanti dia baca, payah aku. mati keras nak jawab satu satu. baik dia jumpa pun tapi tak paham since aku tau dia bukannya rajin nak translate pulak. nak letak gambar pun tak boleh since nanti dia jumpa ker nanti, kantoi duk sembang pasal dia. ayayai.

aku harap aku masih normal.

When I was Your Man.

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now

Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same

When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down

Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

It all just sounds like oooooh…

Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize

That I should have bought you flowers

And held your hand

Should have gave you all my hours

When I had the chance

Take you to every party

Cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby's dancing

But she's dancing with another man

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways

Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life

Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…

And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

It all just sounds like oooooh…

Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize

That I should have bought you flowers

And held your hand

Should have gave you all my hours

When I had the chance

Take you to every party

Cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby's dancing

But she's dancing with another man

Although it hurts

I'll be the first to say that I was wrong

Oh, I know I'm probably much too late

To try and apologize for my mistakes

But I just want you to know

I hope he buys you flowers

I hope he holds your hand

Give you all his hours

When he has the chance

Take you to every party

Cause I remember how much you loved to dance

Do all the things I should have done

When I was your man

Do all the things I should have done

When I was your man

Nothing Like Us.

Lately I've been thinking, thinking about what we had

And I know it was hard, it was all that we knew, yeah

Have you been drinking, to take all the pain away?

I wish that I could give you what you deserve

Cause nothing can ever, ever replace you

Nothing can make me feel like you do, yeah

You know there's no one, I can relate to

I know we won't find a love that's so true

There's nothing like us

There's nothing like you and me

Together through the storm

There's nothing like us

There's nothing like you and me together, oh

I gave you everything babe

Well, everything I had to give

Girl, why would you push me away? yeah

Lost in confusion, like an illusion

You know I'm used to making your day

But that is the past now, we didn't last now

I guess that this is meant to be yeah

Tell me, was it worth it? We were so perfect

But baby I just want you to see

There's nothing like us

There's nothing like you and me

Together through the storm

There's nothing like us

There's nothing like you and me together

There's nothing like us

There's nothing like you and me together through the storm

There's nothing like us

There's nothing like you and me together

The Arrival #02

Keep Calm and Stay Watching.

The Arrival #01

Keep Calm and Stay Watching.

The Arrival #00

Keep Calm and Start Watching.

Irresistable❤

Don't try to make me stay

Or ask if I'm okay

I don't have the answer

Don't make me stay the night

Or ask if I'm alright

I don't have the answer.

Heartache doesn't last forever

I'll say I'm fine

Midnight ain't no time for laughing

When you say goodbye.

It makes your lips so kissable

And your kiss unmissable

Your fingertips so touchable

And your eyes irresistible.

I've tried to ask myself

Should I see someone else?

I wish I knew the answer.

But I know, if I go now, if I leave

Then I'm on my own tonight

I'll never know the answer.

Midnight doesn't last forever

Dark turns to light

Heartache flips my world around

I'm falling down, down, down,

That's why.

I find your lips so kissable

And your kiss unmissable

Your fingertips so touchable

And your eyes irresistible

It's in your lips and in your kiss

It's in your touch and your fingertips

And it's in all the things and other things

That make you who you are and your eyes irresistible.

It makes your lips so kissable

And your kiss unmissable

Your fingertips so touchable

And your eyes, your eyes, your eyes,

Your eyes, your eyes, your eyes

Irresistible.

A Lame Tale.

Promise is a promise.

I have made a promise to myself that I’m not going to have a kind of special feeling towards someone at my college. You have to stand still on your own decision, it’s a promise. You can’t break it since it will ruin your future, your plan.

Yes, he is cute. He is good. He is not bad, good looking lah jugak. But, unfortunately you have made a promise to yourself that you’re not going to fall for someone over again. don’t break your promise and concentrate on your cgpa.

Few months more to go. Appreciate every each minutes there and look up for your aim. You got friends and you got me, your own, to rely on.

There’s a guy named blah blah, I think it’s called ‘crush’. Again Tyra? Such a bandage. Geez! Stop being you for a moment boleh tak? Kiri kanan kau suka. Syns Gates nak letak mana? Sigh.

That guy from college is juicily segak. Just put him in a crush list, jangan letak dalam wish list okay.

How about that one guy from Dubai? Such a smartass idiot. Cakap pasal Syns Gates teringat kat dia nie. He’s hot actually since he got a face exactly like Synyster Gates. Serious talk! It looks alike but not so similar as Syns Gates much hotter. His name is kind of unique. I thought he was Christian before, fortunately he is a Muslim. LOL

Ed at the left, while Syns at the right.❤ 

Ubaid Farooqui, his nick is Ed. Yes, this is the one yang selalu meniti di TL twitter aku. Ed itu Ed ini. Maybe some of them might say that this Ed is my special somebody, but he’s not darls. He’s only my super lame idiot. Hahah. Stfu!

And i have given a statement to Ed before on this:

"Boys are nothing rather than my study."

so put in your mind that, please don't break your promise because of this love matter. few months left Tyra. Chill dulu, kawan dulu. 

What more? See this photo..

That Moment❤

Do you know who is this? This is Adam Adli. Yes, I met him few days before. I just can't standing like a stupid there, so I grab that opportunity to have some photos with him. At least I have something to keep as my memory in meeting him. Thanks for coming at my place. It's precious!

His hair is longer than before, soooo long. This is his photo from before. I take it from the internet. 

Me is attracted to this tweet from my twitter buddy.