Silencer.

If this love only exist in my dream, don't wake me up.

just because i have to hold on my promise. and in a reality, i have to hold on this:

"Don't fall in love if you have dream, desire, and vision."

who teaches you this? someone. someone that may be important indirectly. silently.

so much lies. i'm sick of this life.

Dear John.

unfortunately, this is not John.

done with the speech delivery on The Hidden Side of Chewing Gum! yeay me, since i got nothing to do more tonight. so, i have to grab this opportunity to have an early sleep. i'm sooooooooo happy as it such a longggggggg time since i enjoyed my early sleep time.

it such a sad moment when i have to share something about my late John Rambo. who the hell is that? i believe that some of you might curious isn't it. well it was my boyfriend. percaya? hahah. are you that stupid huh. actually it was my pet, it's a dog dubbed John. but, why John? John got his name as we gave him that name for sure. ayayai. jangan memain lah. sangkak. the truth was, my family loved to watch Rambo. do you know that movie? it was an old movie. yet still interesting for our family even now since it's thrilling and full of actions. hiyahhhhhh! so, when that day which the day my ayah brought a little puppy to my house, me and my little brother with no doubt just giving him that name as we thought it was cool! we had John Rambo at our lawn! kau ade? lmfao.

but why the hell i have to write about this dead dog? it such a harsh word dude. just want to clear up something that John not died because of chewing gum, but because of unknown reason. my ayah believed that John has died because of poison. someone has poisoned John due to hatred. i still remember that day, i woke up in a morning and my mak told me that John has died. i was shocked as i saw John laying in front of our house the day before. I asked my mak where was ayah, and she told me that ayah was burying John near to John's favorite place - his shelter, little house. my tears start streaming. 

all the memories came back, pull me back to the old days. the days spent with John. 

it was a new day, having a dull evening in my house and i looked at outside of my house. i could see a little puppy was playing with himself. it was his second day at my house. i bet that he must be as bored as me too. i was a little kid during that time, if not mistaken i was 8 or 9 years old since i just had Udin that time. Udin is my little brother. i went out of the door and looked at John. i was quite afraid of John since it was my first time ever having dog as a pet. i stepped towards John and he started barking! i ran away and he chased me fiercely. i ran away, ran as fast as i could. and it was terrible because i was just running around my home yard! i couldn't stand and stopped at the door, i yelled at John breathlessly. 

"Dah, dah. jangan kejor. dah. penat. penat. aku penat. dah."

suddenly, i vomited. and John looked at me while i was vomiting. i was too scared until my stomach pushed out all the foods eaten before. and John just came nearer eating my vomit. it surprised me a lot! and i was like..hei kotor, jangan makan lah. by looking at him, it seems like John enjoying his meal that day. my vomit. i was a little kid during that day and what i see i will believe it, i assumed that my dear John could eat anything since then. bread, durian, biscuits, fried noodles, rice, anything..he enjoyed all of them. but, seriously saying that i never gave him chewing gum. never once!

so, the conclusion here is i was just lied during my speech delivery that saying John died because of chewing gum. it was just to show my credibility in that persuasive speech. i made up it as to convince le audiences. and it such a good thing to think about, thanks Lord that i was not that stupid. i never gave John tried chewing gum! if i did so, i'll regret for a lifetime. for those that curious on why dog cannot try chewing gum is because it contains xylitol which can kill dog. everything about John that i told you before are all true except the chewing gum matter. John died because of poisoning matter. something that more suck rather than chewing gum. how i wish i had John's photo. i miss him a lot. let John rest in peace. i love you John, still love you.

Credentials.

inginku gapai bulan dan kupetik bintang.

                                                                         - Irwansyah

before aku letak nama Irwansyah tu, rasa macam umphh jer ayat tu. tetapi setelahnya, it seems to see sooooo gelimat. geez. pepetang cemnie dengar lagu gegitu. it's not my fault at all when the adorable ears listened to that kinda songs. haih, it turned automatically. shuffle mode. so, get going jer. but, that sentence got really a deep meaning. even deeper. the desire to pluck stars and touch the moon is such a daydream. sigh.

today.

everybody is having their own activities. momo with her notes, for sure since she is a bookworm. but, she's cuter than worm so how about we change it to book people. so that book people is currently reading notes for our next test. nadya? i got not idea but i believe that she's also reading notes as they're living in a same room. so, kalau tak membaca aku yakin dia tido. ecan is wandering around the web. searching for something that can reduce her social hunger. kutek, as usual is currently hitting the bitchy bed. i guess she's tired as hell. like everyday. and me is typing this entry, nothing to do. hey, why you no read notes? i don't have the feeling to read any notes. yawn.

so actually me and my dear tits, kutek, is doing our responsible as a girl. we're fasting to reduce the loan that we had before. this is the time to pay back what have The Almighty lent us. we owe some 'times' during Ramadhan a year before. do hope that the loan will be settled soon. sooner.

16:32. few hours to go. stay strong dear me.