For God sake, Haziq again?

Hahahah. the tittle seems like you're not get over yet Tira. It seems desperate. LOL. macam nak kena tampar seraya berkata..

"GET A LIFE BITCH!"

As I went through the internet and checking my Facebook account, I accidentally clicked my blog which is this one. Well it's been a long time since I did. It's been a long long time since my last time visited it. poor you baby. so today why not I update something on my blog. It's not much but yeah let's put something to make it alive. it still alive, but kinda sick.

I'm sick of this kind of thing. this medium of writing is used to be my main place for me to voice out all my stupidity. I share everything, anything, and everybody just came here and read it and judge me. some people seems like they love my writing, yet still some of them didn't. it's nothing much since I was a little silly girl who love to update my stupid blog. budak budak sekolah sangat.

but today, I think I have nothing to share well I have but I just don't feel like I want to. I'm tired and I don't feel like it's a must for me to update. Not like before, the time when I thought everything is crucial for me to share. The feeling is dimmer day by day. 

I think I'm growing up.

Oh one more thing, for those who still searching for a keyword that related to Haziq Bakeri I'm truly sorry for those blogposts since they were my immature thought. It was before. So now if you're really curious, we're done. I'm done. Nothing more. It's nothing between us. Actually deep inside I hate the way my friends play with the things that relate to us, yeah they used to. I miss him, but it's not like I want him back. I don't even have any feeling towards him. Not anymore. I was mad, but now I'm not. I feel better now, it was stupid when I cried over a guy. Well you know, I was younger and idiot. I think I better stop to talk about him because it's over.

Last night, I watched The Notebook and it was really heart touching. The movie is really good and I'd love to watch it back. Well at least I still know how to cry and knowing that I'm not yet a heartless person, it's more than enough! Imma happy kid.

What exactly I want to say here is do I have to dispose this blog or just ignore this thing and 10 years later open this blog and smile to myself. It's kinda memory aite. Humph!

You need to care. Could you?

pagi pagi lagi dah kena tegur dengan madam pah. macam kena cucuk cucuk jer hati. senak jiwa aku. memang dah agak kena present first group. dah agak sangat. frankly speak, memang aku sendiri pun tak puas hati dengan tahap presentation aku. minggu nie memang banyak task ngan assignment kena siapkan. aku settle kan proposal semua dulu baru start buat task madam pah. cuba bagitau aku bila masa nak baca point by point at the slide briefly? sampai pukul 2 jugak la buat slide, cari info walhal JDT. tak larat nak baca sampai lewat pagi lagi. segan dengan classmates sebab kena marah macam budak sekolah. tak pandai nak introduce groupies. aku pun rasa aku ting tong jer macam introduce main tunjuk tunjuk. serious rasa macam fool. malu tak bagi my best. serious malu. humph. i'm kind of sorry madam, it was unintended. i'll never do it again.

something has changed. teacher tira in making is not a kind of it anymore. teacher tira can't teach lil kids since teacher tira doesn't have that qualification. humph. aku kena tukar tempat LI aku sebabnya aku takde kelayakan nak mengajar. tahap diploma jer lagipun kan. so, few days before i asked my aunt was her company where she's working is available for training student. unfortunately, it wasn't. takpe la. 

so where do i have to go? i chose MPH bookstore. one of my roommates, azim called the HR and asked lotsa things..and finally i just grab that opportunity and pick that place as i had no time to think other places. mana?

MPH Mid Valley.

This is where i hope that i can be there for the first three months next year. disebabkan kat Mid Valley, so aku memutuskan untuk stay dengan emok sedaghe. naik train pegi Mid Valley. meet up dengan azim dekat KL Sentral. tak tau nak cakap apa, sebab i'm not so excited when talking about this practical thingy. aku takut aku tak boleh survive, takut tak boleh nak adapt.

resume baru jer submit tadi, dapat pengesahan semua dari sir aliff terus direct jumpa encik azhari submit resume bagai. next week bila dapat approval terus email kat MPH. hopefully that the two of us can be in a same place. tak awkward sangat nanti nak mula keja.

bila semakin membesar nie, aku rasa macam lagi payah jer nak stay alive successfully. banyak tanggungjawab nak kena hadap. study jauh lagi senang. aku dah penat bila pikir pikir.

kerja? i wish that i could turn back and return to the old days.

They'll never understand.

semalam. aku ada something nak meroyan semalam kat sini. tapi lepas bukak puasa, settle tanggungjawab apa semua langsung lupa apa story nya. kekenyangan maybe. bila waktu bukak puasa jer mesti ada cerita baru. disebabkan aku lupa, so aku delay la cerita tu. kot la hari nie ingat. dan before i had a deep sleep yesterday, aku pun teringat apa aku nak gebang sangat semalam.

hari ini. aku rasa cerita semalam macam lame sangat kalau aku nak sebut sebut. sebab semua tu were the cases happened during my last semester. but some people still bercakap cakap pasal tu. terasa sedikit bara bila aku dengar balik semalam. aku sabar. aku terus cuba ingat ingat ada tak ayat yang aku baca before nie yang boleh buat aku sedap sikit hati. and it is. one said that..

"People never remember the million times you've helped them, only the one time you don't."

so, i ignored it and continue playing game. i was playing game during that time. aku bukak puasa makan cekodok jer semalam, sambil tangan sibuk la pegang mouse main game semua. aku malas nak ungkit sebab that person asked me to never have a word about that thing since then. i didn't want any other problems so i put silencer on my lips. for what do you guess? aku taknak buang masa atas benda yang bangang macam tu effect study aku kat sini. but now what happen to the promise that we've made before? sape yang kepochi?

sedar diri dan muhasabah lah. aku tak pernah senang nak paham orang. semua orang ada kerenah, tapi this person is beyond the normal phase. sukar untuk ku mengerti. you used to be my inspiration. stop by there. titik.

2 messages received.

i opened them and read thoroughly. one from my ex-boyfie named syarani but dubbed as ali. while another one by unknown. raw number appeared at the screen. and it was celcom i bet since the initial number is zero one nine. Ali asked me to have my home address, why dude? nak post kad raya maybe. since home address is kinda confidential so it's a no-no respond. sorry for that. haaa that unknown one, i really don't get the idea on who the hack was that. i called, but no respond. sucha fool. tak reti nak tekan butang mana kot bila phone bunyi. let it be.

tadi. serious rasa lain macam. bersalah maybe kat aiman. budak budak retard nie kena kena kan aku ngan dia. dia nak cari sir syahid comel, dorang boleh bising bising sebut nama aku. awkward gila. dah la lama tak sembang ngan aiman. kind of complicated sikit ngan dia. then they make such noises in front of others. pity me.

aiman, sorry sebab tadi. budak budak nie memang retard. dorang tak bersalah sebab dorang bingung banyak. maafkan kami.

and dear truck voice owner, how i wish i can keep your voice in a magic bottle. so once i need it i will open up the cork and listen to yours.